I greatly regret getting Chicago back hair removal.  Now I can never fulfill my dream of becoming a hairy-bodied Mexican wrestler.  No, I am not Mexican and could probably not pass for one.  But Mexican professional wrestling, called lucha libre (which translates into free style), has a longstanding tradition of wrestlers wearing masks and assuming almost superheroic identities.  It isn’t a tradition, but many lucha libre wrestlers also are covered in thick, almost grotesque back hair.  With that, I certainly could have passed for Mexican.  Now everyone will my ghostly pale white skin and know that I’m an American.  I know I went and got the hair removal treatment myself, but it was my girlfriend’s idea and she kept pushing me and pushing me and finally I had to give in.  Now I’m all pasty and smooth and soft all the way around and it’s somewhat annoying.  I feel like that albino kid from the movie Powder.  You know, Powder?  All I wanted was to be a famous luchador who perhaps went to star in several very popular Mexican soap opera, otherwise called telemudos.  I could even wear my mask during every episode.  They do that down south of the border.